Medical Saints

Churchill is perhaps the best source of English quotations after Shakespeare, the King James' Bible, and the Book of Common Prayer.
This caught my eye: I have blogged similar sentiments, but it seems Churchill said it first. It is not Churchill at his best - he was 73 when he wrote it - and in the rambling first sentence there may be a sign of the dementia which afflicted him in his last years.

I have been inclined to feel from time to time that there ought to be a hagiology of medical science, and that we ought to have saints' days to commemorate the great discoveries which have been made for mankind, and perhaps for all time - or for whatever time may be left to us. Nature, like many of our modern statesmen, is prodigal of pain. I should like to find a day when we can take a holiday, a day of jubilation, when we can fete good Saint Anaesthesia and chaste and pure Saint Antiseptic.

Immunisation, anaesthesia, and antibiotics are the big three for canonisation; and a fourth saint should be created for the host of benefits vital in special cases, such as the obstetric forceps, diuretics, and hormones, to name just three.
But the highest honour should be reserved for Saint Morphine the Merciful.


'Twould ring the bells of heaven their wildest peal for years, if Patriarchs would turn away from theology to call for thanks for medical science, for medical scientists, and for the human faculties of observation and analysis which deliver such great benefits.

The Price of Beauty

In this song Percy French summarised the difficulties in pricing beauty better than any philosopher.

MCBREEN'S HEIFER

McBreen had two daughters and each one in turn
Was offered in marriage to Jamesy O'Burn.
Now Kitty was pretty, but Jane she was plain,
So to make up the differ, McBreen would explain,
He'd give the best heifer he had on his land,
As a sort of a bonus with Jane, understand.
But then Kitty would char-um a bird off a bush,
And that left the lad in a horrid non-plush.

Now there's no denyin' Kitty was remarkably pretty,
Though I can't say the same for Jane,
But still there's not the differ of the price of a heifer,
Between the pretty and the plain.

Entirely bothered was Jamesy O'Burn.
He thought that he'd give the schoolmaster a turn.
Says he, "To wed Kitty is very good fun,
But a heifer's a heifer when all's said an' done.
A girl she might lose her good looks anyhow,
And a heifer might grow to an elegant cow,
But still there's no price for the stock, d'ye mind,
And Jane has a face that the Divil designed."

Now there's no denyin' Kitty was remarkably pretty,
Though I can't say the same for Jane,
But still there's not the differ of the price of a heifer,
Between the pretty and the plain.

Now the schoolmaster said, with a great deal of sense,
"We'll reduce the two girls to shillin's an' pence.
Add the price of the heifer, and Jane, I'll be bound,
Will come out the top by a couple o' pound;
But still I'm forgettin' that down in Glengall,
The stock is just goin' for nothin' at all."
So Jim thought he'd wait till the end of the year,
Till girls might be cheaper or stock might be dear.

But when he came for Kittie, she was married to McVittie,
And McGee had appropriated Jane,
So whether there's the differ of the price of a heifer,
Is a thing that he never would explain.

Two More Aphorisms

If patients say a physiotherapist is nice or kind, she / he is not doing a good job.

So I was pleased when my old dad said to me after his aortic valve graft: 'That young woman physiotherapist, she's cruel; she made me get out of bed the morning after my operation'.

The best physios. are popular with patients when they are recovered and ready to go home, but not before.